Cub Free Weekend

I believe that somewhere along this blogging journey I have shared that I have an amazing support system. If I have not then let me say it here and now; I have an AMAZING support system. My cub is almost two years old and has never been cared for by a stranger or sitting service. Why? Because anytime the husband and I have needed some grown up time, his myriad of aunts and his loving grandparents have stepped in and cared for our wonderful boy in our absence. This is definitely something that I don't take for granted as I am well aware of the poor couples out there that rarely have a date night or a moment to exhale.

Well last week was hectic to say the least and by the middle of the week I felt overwhelmed. God immediately came through for me in the form of my awesome mother. She called me, on her own I need to stress, and said "I want Tony to come to my house and stay over this weekend". What did she just say? You don't need permission to do that. Just tell me how long to pack for. OK don't judge me. I am a four months pregnant over worked woman right now. So, the plan was for Tony to spend the ENTIRE weekend with grandma and his cousins while momma bear and papa bear did ___________. I shall fill in the blank. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. That's right people. Our cub free weekend consisted of us:

1. Staying up late watching nonsense television (Well, the husband did this. I promptly passed out on the couch some time after 10:00 p.m. as is customary)
2. Sitting on the couch watching nonsense television.
3. Eating like college students and letting the dishes pile up like one too.
4. Sleeping past 7:00 a.m. ( I actually slept to 9:00 a.m. on both Saturday and Sunday).

Oh the absolute joy. I really did need the mini-break my mother afforded us. I can't stress enough the importance of what others call "me time". I don't really call it "me time". I prefer to think of it as time to just exist. We play so many roles throughout the day-mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, employee, employer-that we forget to just be Cassandra. Yes Cassandra is all those things and they are just a part of me but there is also a part of me that exists that doesn't want to think, plan, execute. It simply just wants to be. It wants to lay in the bath tub surrounded by bubbles and not a care in the world. It wants to pick up a violin and strum a melody while every thought in its mind is silenced by the sweet music. It wants to paint and sip wine knowing that it doesn't matter if its understood. It  just wants to exist. So I got to do a a lot of that weekend given that football season is cranking back up. I left the husband downstairs with our college buddy and I went to my room where I did nothing but exist. It was a great cub free weekend.

Toddler Language

It's funny how the onset of a toddler forces you to realize your own little behaviours that you NEVER noticed before. For example my son will burst into a song out of nowhere and will walk around performing little tasks while humming some melody I have never heard and can only assume he invented. So I made the mistake of saying to my husband, "I don't know where he (the cub) gets this spontaneous singing from". Almost 30 minutes later I am doing something,  I can't remember what, and my husband says "Really, you don't know where he gets it from?" Apparently, at that exact moment I had burst into a random song that I'd invented based on what I was doing at the time. Thanks Husband for impolitely pointing out to me that the cub gets that behavior from me. There has been others and each time it has been very funny to realize that he does what he see us do.

Over the past months the cub has been discovering words and basically creating his own language. I mainly fault......

                   This book                                                  and                                              this man



Here are my reasons why.......

Bedtime consists of us bathing the cub, reading a book, and saying our prayers. The cub's latest favorite book is Brown Bear, Brown Ber What Do You See. This is mainly due to the fact that the husband makes animal noises for each of the animals as he reads the book. The cub LOVES this. Well, here is a list of names for the each animal according to the cub:

Bear                    Roar
Cat                      Meow
Dog                     Woof Woof
Fish                     Blurp Blurp ( it's a bubble gurgling noise that fish make in the water)


If you say the real names he understands you mean bear but anytime he sees a bear he calls it Roar. All dogs are woof woof except our dog Pancho who is lovingly called Dog by the cub. Oh and the snack food Goldfish and the movie Finding Nemo are also called blurp blurp.

Other words mysteriously formed on their own.
Blanket                              Bla
Clean                                 Wash
Bathe                                 Wash
Grandma (maternal)          Nanny    (this is only interesting because we call her Nana)
Grandma (paternal)           Mommy  (perhaps because the husband calls her this but we call her Abuela most of the time)
Mommy (me)                    My mommy

Then some words makes sense
Uncle                                Tio (spanish for uncle)
Pot Pot                              Training Potty
Light                                  Light or Luz (light in spanish)

The inspiration behind this blog happened this morning when my adorable little not yet two year old son said to me "bla wash". Well, he has learned the art of commands. So, before I left for work this morning I placed bla in the washing machine. He was right it was time for a good cleaning.

Cub #2 On Board

So I finally shared with the world the news that cub #2 is on board.

 

This delightful news was a surprise and has made for an interesting pregnancy. With Antonio the Husband and I had been trying to conceive for a while so when we learned he was on board there was immediate excitement and relief. Excitement to finally be blessed with a baby and relief from the fear of infertility.  We weren't planning this current pregnancy and we were actually trying to wait just a little longer. Our finances are not where we need them to be to start Antonio in childcare, which is necessary if we have a second child, and given my cesarean from the first pregnancy we wanted to give my body time to properly heal. We began to suspect we were pregnant while on vacation in Cali, Colombia. Then we were given reasons to believe we weren't pregnant. It stunned us both that we were a little disappointed that we weren't expecting. Funny because prior to the trip we were both adamant that we weren't ready. We got home and I took a test just to be sure and it was positive. I took another one for good measure and it too was positive. I immediately called the doctor, booked an appointment, and confirmed the good news.  I think our logical minds had suppressed the fact that emotionally we were ready even if the bank account wasn't.  This reminds me of a funny episode from Friends. I thought I'd share the video. Start at 5:07 to get straight to the point but if you  LOVE Friends like I do why not watch the whole thing.

 Now a couple things about second pregnancies and being pregnant while raising a toddler.

 

1. Each pregnancy is different is an understatement.

 This pregnancy has been NOTHING like the first. First pregnancy-no sickness, no energy in first trimester but after that I was the energizer bunny, stretching and round ligament discomfort in the second half of the pregnancy, no swelling anywhere including feet ( I still wear the same shoe size as always), no skin discoloration or bumps, no heart burn-I think you get the point. I had one of those dream pregnancies. Ummm so this pregnancy-nausea nausea nausea. I don't know how I managed to leave the house and go to work each day with all that nausea. I can't eat most foods I like and routinely eat. All I want is seafood, steak, and sushi. So judge me if you want to but I have caved and eaten sushi. Not raw sushi the fried cooked stuff. Now I am in the second trimester and the nausea did miraculously leave but I have headaches all the time. My belly ballooned out and I was visibly pregnant at like six weeks. What the heck. It's not fair to already need maternity clothes and have people tell you that there are two in there or that you are not going to make it. Oh and smell aversions! I've had to run out my office suite A LOT. I don't know what those people are heating up or eating but my goodness does it reek.

2.  An almost two year old could care less that you are pregnant.

The cub doesn't understand or seem to care that I am pregnant and therefor have no energy, am sick as a dog, uncomfortable, and fragile. This is evident because when I am lying on the couch battling nausea he insists that I get up to kick the ball with him, play Legos, pillow fight, etc. His new joy is to make me lay on the floor while he uses me as a ladder or step stool.  Have I shared that my child has an affinity for violence? Not sure why or where he is getting it but he likes to sword fight (we don't own any swords. He turns the vacuum cleaner tools and kid toy golf clubs into swords). He loves wrestling which usually includes him jumping onto you while you are laying down. He gets a kick out of this. I don't know why he is so rough. I guess boys will be boys. But the problem occurs when I tell him I can't wrestle or play that game with him. Oh he loses it. So, I have concluded that my being pregnant is far removed from my cub's cares or concerns.

My Favorite Part of Me

I've shared how blogging has opened up this other side of me and the joy I find in typing out my story/journey then releasing it to whoever. There has been something both therapeutic and enlightening in this. Well, I've only recently been opening myself up to other blogs. One of my favorites is Momastery, not because I think she says anything profound or just downright truthful, although she often does to me, but because I feel like what she is sharing is honest. Only in my adult life have I come to appreciate and understand the value of honesty. We always say we want honesty and we want someone honest in our lives. But do we really? What I've witnessed is that more often than not we want someone to make us feel cozy and warm on the inside. We want someone to wipe away the bad things in life and paint pretty pictures. We want someone to help us cope with brutalities. Well unfortunately honesty sometimes is the opposite of cozy and warm and the picture isn't always pretty.But I think as we mature we begin to understand this more and more. So, I find myself gravitating towards honesty. I like when a person can share without fear that she isn't always the best mother or wife, that she sometimes neglects her husband or children in search of her own solace, that she is confused to the point of insanity and can't tell you which way is up. Am I saying these are good things, NO, but they are honest things. Only in our honest moments can we begin to address what is happening around us, embrace the present, and begin to live for the future. I say all this to say that in one of Glennon Doyle Melton's posts on Momastery she said something that stuck out to me.

"This morning I was prepping the kids’ lunches and dancing in the kitchen to the Grateful Dead. I was happy. I am always happy when I’m about to take the kids to camp.

And I sang this part really loud: “first one’s named sweet Anne Marie, she’s my heart’s delight.” I love that line. Heart’s Delight! Anne Marie! And I started thinking about what a precious name Anne Marie is and how much I just LOVE everyone in the whole world named Anne Marie. And then I said a prayer for all the Anne Maries in the world. That they’d have a few brilliant moments today in which they’d feel wildly and completely loved.

That whole Grateful Dead/Anne Marie thing took about five minutes. That five minutes made me so happy. There was a THERE there. Because that was my soul, there dancing and praying for all the Anne Marie’s in the world. I love that wild, nonsensical part of me. I need some time to get back in touch with her- to invite her front and center again because I want HER to lead me through this life. I choose HER- even if she makes no sense to the world at all."

The link to the full  post is here: Momastery: Goodbye Internet.

To me what stood out is the part highlighted in yellow and it made me question my favorite part of myself. I don't think I ever stopped to realize what I love about myself. Now that I have I would definitely have to say my honesty. Over the past years I have struggled with learning to balance being honest with being humble and sensitive. I'm still learning but I can honestly say that I love this part of me. People always say they know they can count on me to be honest. This part of myself is challenging and I don't think I even fully understand it. But it's also the part of me that I want to always remain and to to shine brightly for the world to see. I think we should all find that part of ourselves that we love and want to be front and center in all that we do. So thanks Glennon for helping me connect with my favorite part of me.

Potty Training....What do I do

One of the things I learned fast as a first time mom was to trust my instinct. It has served me well and kept my stress levels somewhat low. Well there comes a time in life when you run into a wall or stumbling block. Basically something that challenges the world as you understand it. My latest wall has been potty training. What the heck am I supposed to do to get this kid that absolutely loves running around in his stinky diaper to realize and learn that he must now go to a potty. Oh and when I say loves to run around in his stinky diaper I mean just that. My son for whatever reason hates diaper changes. We have to fight with him and chase him down to change his diaper. So this potty training thing. Where do you start? When do you start? How do you start? I had absolutely no clue. I asked around and read a few items here and there. Every one is doing and saying something different. It's like each person has her own scientific experiment going as to how to potty train. Shall I share some of the advice I've gotten....

1. Take off his diaper and let him run around naked. He'll go to the potty because he won't just use it anywhere. 

WRONG. I was told similar advise for house training the dog that they won't go in their crate. WRONG AGAIN. It must be me because with the dog and with the cub they both did exactly what I was told they wouldn't.

 2. Get him a potty and familiarize him with it, let him play with it and understand that it is specifically for him.

Sounds OK right. Well in my case the potty turned into the cub's lounge chair. I kid you not. He took the potty and dragged it into the living room and plopped it in front of the TV. End result-we had to get him to understand that the potty is not that kind of chair.

3. Take him to the potty whenever you go. He will learn from you.

This I felt I can do so every time I went to the potty I would say "Tony, mommy is going to use the pot pot. Do you want to come and use your pot pot too?" Of course he did and I would sit him on his potty then I would proceed to the grown up potty. End result-the cub now tries to wipe mommy and wants to assist ME in pottying.  

Now none of these are weird or bad advice....well maybe the naked thing. That one was weird. Other than that though I think my experiences have just been comical. We have only been "officially" potty training for a little while now and have had some success.
1. The cub no longer thinks the pot pot is a lounge chair and actually attempts to potty.2. The cub has used his pot pot several times now. Not on his own of course. We have been managing to catch him when he actually had to go.

I'm begining to see that this is a definitely a process. I expected it to take time but truly other than that I didn't know what to expect. I still don't honestly. Oh how I wish my instinct would kick in and I come up with some miraculous solution.