First Day Back At Work

So today I went back to work. This was truly one of the first times in my life that I followed through and did something although I had mixed emotions. As a general rule I prefer to only do things that I am sure about; I have a theory that you end up with fewer regrets that way.

It was definitely difficult to leave my cub today but my coworkers did help make the transition back to work a little easier. There was a lovely vase filled with flowers and balloons waiting in my office. Sitting in my chair at my desk felt so weird. Everything was exactly how I left it but I almost felt as if I was someone else office. When we started our usual Monday morning staff meeting I felt like a stranger. They were discussing appointments and upcoming events and I was completely out of the loop. Of course this was expected but it's different when you actually begin to experience it.

I thought about my cub all day so it helped that I got to talk about him all day. Yep I was ready with my stories and my pictures. I couldn't wait to share my precious cub with everyone. I spent most of the day talking about him and settling back in to the swing of being at work. With the exception of cleaning out my emails and getting caught up on the office functions, no one expected anything of me. I am grateful to them for that.

 Now that I am home I am exhausted. I finally see what my husband has been trying to get me to understand all this time. This exhaustion is a little different than the exhaustion you feel from taking care of your baby all day. I can honestly say it's hard business to take care of your baby all night, wake the next morning for work, then return home to take care of your little one. It's only 8:30 p.m. and I can tell that it is going to be a rough night. I'm determined though because I want as much time with him as possible. I hate that we didn't get home until a little after 6:00 p.m. because we traditionally bathe him at 7:00 p.m. and begin the ritual for putting him down for the night. I hate that my time with him is shorter. I find myself just holding and staring at him like I could make up an entire day's worth of time. I'm sure it will get easier and I will find ways to maximize my time with him.  I'll just have to take it one day at a time.

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