Airplanes and Toddlers

At the Airport About to Check-in

As we prepared for our trip to Colombia, the Husband and I have had nightmares about how we will manage a long travel day with the 18 month old cub. We immediately started securing everything possible that we thought my placate him throughout the day or hold his attention for a spell. I got over "being that parent" quite some time ago. You know "that parent". It´s the parent that all other non parents look at with shrewd eyes and judge and question why they can´t control their child. Early on I spent too much of my precious time trying not to be "that parent". Then it hit me one day; parenting is difficult enough without me trying to please people that honestly don´t matter. When it comes to parenting the only beings that I need to please are God, my children, and my husband. Now, I could care less about being "that parent". So yes that was me at Babies R Us the other day thumbing through swim wear while my son ran up and down the aisle singing and saying hello to everyone that passed by. Yes that was me at the Walmart who continued to check the label on a pack of snacks ignoring her son while he threw himself to floor, kicked, and screamed. I ignore this behaviour, so should you.This brings me to all the preparation for the travel plans. We packed everything possible that would help us prevent any tantrums. The reason being tantrums are downright draining. Travelling is draining enough; add hours of toddler tantrums and you have officially entered the sixth circle of hell. Needless to say we came with an arsenal of things prepared to entertain and calm our son.

We left our house at 6:30 am to go to the airport. This is an hour earlier that my son is accustomed to getting out of bed. I was prepared though for....nothing. He wasn´t cranky or irritable. Next was the long line to check-in. My son hates being held when there is an opportunity for him to chart new grounds and explore new surroundings. Still nothing. He patiently stayed in our arms and we successfully checked in all our bags. By now I´m thinking it´s just early. He will be in full mode soon. We made it through security and still no fussing, demanding to get down an run around, or tantrums when told no. We had a little wait before our plane departed so we ate breakfast and toured the wonderful Hartsfield Airport. The cub was allowed to roam around now. He had so much fun. It´s like all the airport staff, including security, were there to assist him with whatever he wanted. One security woman even flashed her lights and let the cub play with her little scooter bike ( I don´t know what those things are called). He got all the attention he could want plus extra. Now it´s time to board the plane. I´m nervous. A toddler, and my toddler at that, sit still for two hours in the same space. Oh and the ear popping thing. How do you handle that with toddlers. He sat in the lap of his uncle by the window. The plane took off and he loved it. He absolutely loved watching the plane take off and he looked out the window with great amazement. We were finally in the air with nothing but clouds to see and what does my cub do. GO TO SLEEP. He slept through the entire flight. So to all you non parents out there that looked at me with judgement and inwardly cursed the fact that you would be stuck in a confined space for two hours with a toddler shame on you. I know what you thought. I could see it in your glances as we sat at the gate and you listened as my son spoke with his outdoor voice. I saw the fear as you watched me chase him around the lounge area while he squealed with delight. You thought all this would happen on the plane too. Well shame on you! Who am I kidding....me too. I had those same thoughts and fear. So ignore the DVD player, headphones, games, music, junk food, books, toys, and Benadryl in my carry on. So sad, I was prepared to take the cub down by any means necessary. The layover and second flight into Cali, Colombia was just as amazing and smooth. He went to sleep AGAIN. The woman that had the fortune of sharing our aisle said my cub is the most tamed and wonderful child she has met. Proud mommy dance time. Who knew the cub would love to fly.

Answered Prayers

A coworker asked me to pray for her the other day and added that God answers my prayers. This caused me to pause briefly. What does she mean? What does that mean? I was truly taken off guard. The sentence rattled in my head the rest of the day and even the next morning. I woke up, read my daily devotional and boom there it was, "God answers your prayers". What does that mean? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Why couldn't I wrap my head around it? Honestly, because I felt it wasn't true. I automatically began thinking to myself that she must see something that I don't see in order to derive that God answers my prayers. Do she see me as blessed or privileged. If so, she obviously isn't paying close attention because my life is always hectic or always troubled by something. If I were to do a quick synopsis of my life right now it would go like this...

 my father, a hemophiliac, is having surgery on his knee soon, my mother has some underlying issue going on with her-most likely stress induced-that the doctors haven't found, my mother-in-law keeps having little health scares that thankfully have been minor, my brother is in jail, my job hasn't decided what direction to take with my position, my husband's car is on the fritz, the oven, washing machine, and air conditioning all stopped working at the same time, my bank account is dismal, I don't know how we are going to expense the much needed trip to Colombia and still stay above water, we need to put the Cub in childcare soon if we want to have a second child because that is way too much to put on the mother-in-law, I keep gaining weight and the scale frightens the daylights out of me, I need to replace my sofa but the bank account is still dismal, I can't sell my house without owing the bank my first born, and I'm in need of a pedicure.

OK I threw that last part in there because it was getting too heavy. Now this is just the surface stuff that I can share. The more personal stuff that involves other people I won't share-not because I am ashamed, my life is an open book, but I must respect the privacy of others. All that being said, what does she mean?

I had an epiphany a few months back that I never shared in which I realized that God has done so much in my life. The problem is I couldn't see it because of all the other stuff that was still unanswered or unresolved in my life. Sure I gave thanks for each hurdle or obstacle I'd overcome, but like any runner in the race I didn't pause because up ahead was the next hurdle. No runner stops in the middle of the race and celebrate jumping the first hurdle. No. You celebrate once you cross the finish line. I haven't crossed the finish line. Well...so I thought or felt. Then she made that statement and I stopped. Apparently, I had crossed the finish line and several at that. She had witnessed my triumphs, mainly because I share everything. I share my life because I always think to myself that others could be where I am or where I was and it is my moral duty to impart the wisdom and lessons learned to others. It may not always apply to that person's life but it gives perspective and insight. Isn't this why we have adversity and trials in life? So we grow and help others to grow. So we learn to lean on and trust in God. I'm still learning to lean and trust.  

My last thought on answered prayers. I gave my rant of the challenging things happening in my life right now. I've prayed feverishly for resolutions to these items. A friend shared a devotional with me that again floored me and changed my perspective. I've always felt like a lot of people lean on me or look to me for answers. I often feel burdened and tugged on but I do my best to be there for people. Lately, I began praying that these burdens be removed from me. After all do you see my list. I have stuff too. Well this devotional spoke to Jesus and how along his travels people would stop him and rely on him for encouragement, healing, etc. It spoke to the fact that the disciples leaned on him. All in addition to the task that God had for him. It then spoke to the fact that Jesus never complained and always made a point to be there for every one that sought him out. The scripture focus was Psalm 41:1.

"Blessed is he who considers the weak and the poor, the Lord will deliver him in the time of evil and trouble".

That day my prayer changed. It became clear to me that I didn't need to pray for my burdens to be removed; instead I needed to pray for strength to handle all that God had laid before me and to understand how God would like to use me in the lives of others. Talk about answered prayers. I still have my moments where say when is enough enough or hey this plate is getting a little full. But in the end I now know that people are watching and seeing the God in me and how is moving in my life. I'm working everyday to be a good reflection of Him. Key word...WORKING.

Women and Mothers Unite

I've never been one of those women that championed other women and viewed us as a collective. Truth be told rarely do I view myself as a collective of anything and I've done this deliberately. Mainly because I feel that we create divisions as a people when we add identifiers like woman, black, christian, mother, etc. My rationale was always that these identifiers make it appear as if another person can't relate to me or my story if they don't share those same identifiers. For example a white or Latino woman can't share my joy or pain because she isn't black. I've always fought this idea because I honestly believe you can learn from anyone and relate to any story. For this reason I've challenged and stayed away from anything that had divisions like that.

Lately, I've been reading a lot more blogs and opening myself up to the journey and ideals of people I don't get to encounter in my every day life. This has helped me in several ways. First, I'm learning that we are all very different and very same at the same time. This duality is so intriguing to me. How can something be the same yet different? But it's true. We all have the same fears, the same hopes, and the same struggles. We have different packaging as to how we approach and view those fears, hopes, and dreams. I'm learning that my struggle or journey is not unique to only me. This has been empowering because I know for me it's difficult for me to see outside my situation when I'm in the midst of managing it. It's nice to read some one's journey that mirror my own and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even when there isn't light and there appears to be no answer or solution other than tough it out and endure, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Lastly, I've learned that we as people aren't as detached as one would think. I'm always hearing that technology has ruined us socially and families don't communicate, communities aren't connected, and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I'm seeing something different. We want to connect. We want to share. All these blogs and social media prove that.

As a new mom I've been more inclined to read the mommy blogs and it's amazing to me to read how other women view motherhood and embrace the day to day challenges that come with that role. It's also amazing to me the automatic support women give other women the moment they say I'm a mother. For the first time I began to find myself embracing my identifier and allowing myself to be a part of collective. Not because I believe that non mothers can't identify with me or understand what I am experiencing but because I had found a safe haven. I had found a voice that mirrored my own. As I read the words of these other mothers, my spirit dances and celebrates the pure simplicity in having someone that just gets it. Oh the just gets it is so important. To not have to explain. To not have to feel judged or criticized. To not have to share my story with the nagging voice asking should I really say that. It's liberating. As people I think we need that. I think we need solace and we need to have a place where we can go and truly be free. It's like the theme song to Cheers, "I want to go where every one knows my name". I think we all want to go where everyone knows our pain, our joy, our story and just get it.  I'm not saying that I'm ready to start my own version of the He Man Woman Haters Club. But, I finally get it. I just get it.