Women and Mothers Unite

I've never been one of those women that championed other women and viewed us as a collective. Truth be told rarely do I view myself as a collective of anything and I've done this deliberately. Mainly because I feel that we create divisions as a people when we add identifiers like woman, black, christian, mother, etc. My rationale was always that these identifiers make it appear as if another person can't relate to me or my story if they don't share those same identifiers. For example a white or Latino woman can't share my joy or pain because she isn't black. I've always fought this idea because I honestly believe you can learn from anyone and relate to any story. For this reason I've challenged and stayed away from anything that had divisions like that.

Lately, I've been reading a lot more blogs and opening myself up to the journey and ideals of people I don't get to encounter in my every day life. This has helped me in several ways. First, I'm learning that we are all very different and very same at the same time. This duality is so intriguing to me. How can something be the same yet different? But it's true. We all have the same fears, the same hopes, and the same struggles. We have different packaging as to how we approach and view those fears, hopes, and dreams. I'm learning that my struggle or journey is not unique to only me. This has been empowering because I know for me it's difficult for me to see outside my situation when I'm in the midst of managing it. It's nice to read some one's journey that mirror my own and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even when there isn't light and there appears to be no answer or solution other than tough it out and endure, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. Lastly, I've learned that we as people aren't as detached as one would think. I'm always hearing that technology has ruined us socially and families don't communicate, communities aren't connected, and the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I'm seeing something different. We want to connect. We want to share. All these blogs and social media prove that.

As a new mom I've been more inclined to read the mommy blogs and it's amazing to me to read how other women view motherhood and embrace the day to day challenges that come with that role. It's also amazing to me the automatic support women give other women the moment they say I'm a mother. For the first time I began to find myself embracing my identifier and allowing myself to be a part of collective. Not because I believe that non mothers can't identify with me or understand what I am experiencing but because I had found a safe haven. I had found a voice that mirrored my own. As I read the words of these other mothers, my spirit dances and celebrates the pure simplicity in having someone that just gets it. Oh the just gets it is so important. To not have to explain. To not have to feel judged or criticized. To not have to share my story with the nagging voice asking should I really say that. It's liberating. As people I think we need that. I think we need solace and we need to have a place where we can go and truly be free. It's like the theme song to Cheers, "I want to go where every one knows my name". I think we all want to go where everyone knows our pain, our joy, our story and just get it.  I'm not saying that I'm ready to start my own version of the He Man Woman Haters Club. But, I finally get it. I just get it.