Electing to Have a Second C-Section

To have the c-section  or not to have the c-section that is the question. I 'm not a hundred percent sure as to why I was so adamant about attempting to do what they call a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I unfortunately had to have an emergency c-section with my son. Most people naturally then elect to have a c-section with the second child. I on the other hand did not. My recovery from the first went very well so that was not the reason. I'm not that woman that needs to experience labor in order to feel like a woman so that was not the reason. In my mind a c-section was still surgery and carried with it all the risks of surgery. This was unsettling to me. Additionally, I still believed that the recovery from a vaginal delivery was better than that of a c-section. I was determined to attempt the VBAC.

Well at week 37 of my pregnancy the doctors were estimating that my child weighed 7 lbs 15 oz. I still had minimally 2 weeks left in my pregnancy, meaning my baby still had some growing to do. My OB felt that the baby would potentially be too big for me to attempt a VBAC with the largest concern being the possibility of my incision from the c-section rupturing. I was of course slightly disappointed but I trust my OB's judgement. The c-section was scheduled.

It's very different having a baby when you already know it's arrival date and time. There is no fanfare or nervous excitement. You literally arrive at the hospital and are escorted to your room. They begin prepping you, then at the designated time they waltz you down the hall to the operating room. This being my second c-section I was prepared for the extremely sterile and cold room. I was prepared to be strapped down to a table like Jesus on the cross. I was prepared for the blue curtain that would separate me from my baby and serve as a source of anxiety for the next several minutes. I was prepared to lose my ability to breathe the moment they began to pull the baby through the small incision. I was prepared to pass out moments after meeting my child because undoubtedly the anesthesiologist overdid it with the pain killers.

What you can never prepare for is how you will feel the moment you are first introduced to your little one. You can never prepare for that first moment you hold her in your arms or the first time you nurse her. All the steps were the same. Even the hospital was the same and yet once my daughter was here nothing was the same.

So to have the c-section or not really isn't the question. The question is how do I deliver my precious baby into the world in the safest and most peaceful way possible, because getting her here is all that truly matters.