Death to Growth Charts

So the cub had his 18 month check up recently. I'm always excited to go to these check ups and see how the cub is progressing and nag my pediatrician with my myriad of questions. The cub is a true trooper and is never irritable from the shots, so all in all it's a positive experience. Well, here is where I flashback for a quick moment. Over the past six months my cub has not gained any weight and his height barely increased. I haven't fretted over it too tough because he looks healthy and nothing else has been wrong. You don't really notice it until you dress him and realize he can still wear his 9-12 months clothes. Seriously, my 18 month old can not wear pants for 12-18 months kids. They literally fall off his waist. I've been waiting for him to catch up or grow into his 12-18 months clothes, which he finally is, but now he should be transitioning into his 18-24 months clothes. This is what prompted me to bring up the weight concerns to the doctor during this last visit.

The doctor agreed that he looks fine and completely healthy, but after taking all his measurements and then charting them she too became a little concerned. His growth has definitely plateaued. Seeing the chart totally put a damper on my spirits. These charts illustrate more than just a slowing down but almost a complete halt  in his growth. The doctor now wants to see him in three months for just a growth check up. She tries to reassure me that there isn't anything to fret over and that we just want to monitor his growth. I don't know what to make of this except now I HATE growth charts.

I was that parent bragging about my cub's percentiles and I admit that it felt real good to see how he measured up to other kids his age. That is when the numbers were good. I've spent the last few days reassuring myself that my cub is happy and healthy, reassurance that I didn't need prior to those stupid growth charts. I think I am most mad because I didn't realize how I'd let the growth charts influence me. I didn't realize that I was using my cub's development as a type of competition if you will. I'll try to explain better. You ever been to a mommy and me group where somewhere along the conversation you realize each mommy is just trying to one up the next mommy. Here is a typical conversation:

Mommy 1: Jane started sleeping through the night at 2 months. We really used the self soothing method and stuck to a strict schedule.
Mommy 2: Well we used the musical stimulus method and Jack started sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old.

OK so these methods and time frames are completely exaggerated but hopefully you get the point. Those mommy communities can be brutal and more destructive than helpful.   Each parent and each child is different thus the journey is different. All this competition and bragging between parents is unhealthy. This is the source of my frustration with the growth chart because I feel I allowed a similar toxic situation as the mommy and me groups to occur. I just want my son happy and healthy. At the moment my mommy senses are telling me to let it go. I mean he definitely seems happy to me.



The Biggest Evil, The Tantrum

There isn't a super villain I can think of that is stronger, more evil, or devastating as the tantrum. My 17 month old cub has discovered and I think mastered the art of the tantrum. His sweet angelic face twists and morphs into a face of anger and dare I say hatred. Gone are his soft curls, rosy plump cheeks, and wistful eyelashes. Who new something so small and cute could curdle the blood in your veins and hurl you into the blackest abyss of frustration? I was informed that I wouldn't have to deal with this until two years of age. I mean that is why it's called the terrible twos. WRONG people. Don't drink the kool-aid. Apparently, this little phase starts once the child is able to express himself. Or at least that is what my pediatrician said during my cub's last doctor visit. I get the impression the doctor thinks that this is something fantastic or wonderful because he said it with the biggest smile on his face. All the while my cub continued to "express himself" throughout the doctor visit.

So, what are mommy and daddy doing to address this behaviour. We've done the reading and the advice seeking.

Action: Ignore him when he displays an undesired behaviour. Allow tantrum to happen and ensure he is in a safe place.
Result: Increased volume of the shrills and heightened flailing of body to the floor and kicking.

Action: Place him in his crib/play pen and say "Antonio this is not how we behave when....(insert undesired behaviour)".
Result: Increased volume of the shrills and intensity of the crying.

Action: Use a soft calming voice to soothe the frustrated toddler. After all most tantrums occur because a toddler is frustrated because of his lack of ability to express/communicate desires.
Result: If not already crying, then crying which can lead to high shrills, kicking, and flailing of the body.

Oh by the way that last one is bull larky. My toddler has no problem expressing or communicating his desires. He makes it very clear what he desires and he makes it very clear that he is not pleased when that desire is not satisfied. This brings me to the last suggestion.

Action: Remove tempting items that may lead to a tantrum if toddler is not allowed to have it.
Result: Things that you would never imagine would be tempting to a toddler becomes tempting. Toddler finds new items to explore or want. I am about to remove every item and piece of furniture out of my house.

So, here is my advice. Having a toddler is like being on a roller coaster ride. It can be exhilarating, adventurous, and down right out boy I'm glad I chose that ride. But along this ride are the scary hills, loops, and dare devil stunts that you have no choice but to throw your hands in the air and let it take you. Just don't close your eyes....toddlers move fast.

Cub Update

So, it has been a while since I gave a cub update. Life is in a bit of a whirlwind right now so I haven't had the time to put the fingers to the keyboard and pound out an update. Life with mini person (what I lovingly call toddlers) is ever changing, challenging, and adventurous. The cub is developing at lightening speed. Every day I wake up to a different kid. Some things I've noted about my offspring so far....


1) He has a weird sense of humor

My son laughs at injuries and fart sounds. I'm sure I could have used a better word or said gas but I need to capture that it's the really disgusting sounding ones. He enjoys it more when he produces the noise. Mommy of course does not respond properly to these situations so he prefers when Daddy is around because undoubtedly my husband will delight in it too. I don't get it and I chalk this up to one of the many things I'm sure I will not understand due to my estrogen levels.


2) He is a thrill seeker

If it's not dangerous, he's not interested. Why is my not even 18 month old son trying to jump off the back of the sofa. He just squeals with delight. Even the husband gets a little squeamish at some of the dare devil stunts the cub pulls. Needless to say I have added the Aflac hospital supplemental insurance to my plan.

3) He is a social butterfly

This one I should have seen coming. I mean I am his mother after all. My son literally goes through the mall, store, and almost anywhere waving to everyone and saying the two words he has mastered flawlessly, bye and hi. If the person responds then it is full on toddler talk. Oh and don't get me started on body language. Hands, shoulders, head nods and all. He is so animated when he talks. Apparently, shyness is not a factor. Whenever we go to Barnes and Noble or any place where children are freely roaming my son will just walk up to the other children and begin playing or initiate a conversation. Most children don't respond to him but it doesn't seem to bother him.








I have my hands full with this one.

Feeding the Spirit

I've always read God's word as a means to gain understanding regarding a topic, to learn what the bible says about this topic or that. Recently, I began a daily devotional not in search of anything in particular but as a part of me building myself in Christ and strengthening my relationship with Him. 

Along this journey I've had several Ah Ha moments and felt led to share them through my blog. But I'm a child and unfortunately my lack of follow through resulted in disobedience. We'll this morning I want to be obedient.

 

"That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being"
Ephesians 3:16 NIV

 

Through my obedience to these daily devotionals I've seen so much growth in myself. I hear God's voice more clearly and am able to see the behind the scenes work of God in my life. Some of the vices I struggle with are becoming easier to control and behavior/traits that is pleasing to God but have always been opposite my character are manifesting. I have often prayed to God for patience, asking Him to increase my patience or show me how to be patient. I don't know why we pray to God to do things or make things happen that we are empowered to do ourselves. Well, that patience never came. Then I deluded myself into thinking it wasn't meant for me to be patient. The other day a colleague referred to me as patient. I was blown away.

 

Last week I clearly heard God instructing me to have a much needed conversation with a coworker in which I was to apologize to this individual. Prior to God speaking to me I didn't know or realize that I had behaved in a way that required me to apologize to this person. Let me shed light on the magnitude of what God was leading me to do. Cassandra doesn't apologize even when I know I've done wrong. Admitting I'm wrong and saying sorry are two huge problems I have. So, to ask this same person to apologize when she doesn't feel she has done wrong is monumental. Of course God revealed my actions to me which despite being harmless were not Christ-like. Well, I committed that I would be obedient and yesterday I initiated the conversation and apologized. I could feel both my heart and spirit swell; it was powerful.

 

When I came across the scripture I provided earlier it all came together. My spiritual growth has been a direct result of my daily bible devotional. The revelation I had is that as I feed my spirit it grows. More importantly as I feed my spirit nutritious food, God's word, it grows. Such a simple concept that although I've heard a thousand times in church I never fully understood until my devotional this morning. Yes, study the word so you know what is says about marriage, fornication, etc. But more importantly, study to feed and strengthen your spirit so it will have the power over your flesh, so it's voice is the loudest in the room, so it's light can shine for others to see. If you are a child of God and this is not the case for you-what are you feeding your spirit; are you feeding your spirit? Don't let it be malnourished.

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